yinzpired | IC SPAM

hey do you have anything i could throw down a hole

Something you want to come back to you or nah? Because if it's the latter, there's this guy in admin who keeps barking at me about my signature and I bet you could toss him good.

yeah it can't be a guy

i just want to know how deep the hole is

Okay, if we're just measuring distances, we'll shelf the guy for the moment.

I've got one of those old nerf distance footballs somewhere around here. Can spruce it up a bit so it'll report back to us on distance and impact data? Might take a day or two to get it ready, though.

okay we can definitely start with this but will it work if the hole is bottomless (not saying it is, just keeping it in mind as a possibility)

Hi I'm sort of blind sorry if I'm sending this to a stranger did you make anti bone glasses for someone like a decade ago

Violating the no text records rule, darling? This must be urgent. What'd you lose? Eyes or glasses?

Urgent and also I'm very stupid but I lost my glasses. And by lost I mean they got stepped on. And then melted. And then I cried but that's not important I'm just painting you the full picture

I'll be honest, melted don't sound salvageable, but I've seen enough weird shit in the interim, maybe I can dream you up something new. But you gotta stop telling me when you've cried if you're not gonna pony up some tears for me to experiment on, honey.

Yeah they're fucked up I'm high up on my voice text bullshit [...] Appreciate it I'll try and get someone smarter than me to figure out how the fuck you submit this shit through work so you can actually get paid instead of taking my soul this time

What are you planning to do with my tears I'm chock full of them I just need to know if you're going to try and make a clone because I ain't clone material

You're gettin so good at it! I do love a soul, but reimbursement's just as good. Listen, I'll have some loaner glasses to your door tomorrow AM. It'll take me a few days to brew up somethin real decent.

Nah, meat ain't really my medium unless we're talking wings. I just wanna see if I could reproduce your bone-o-vision with a pair of those old novelty beer goggles filled with your eye juice.

You're literally my hero if you took an entire year I'd still carry your children if you asked [...] that was weird but I don't know how to delete so I guess that's a binding contract now

Okay that sounds sick as fuck I'm gonna watch the fox and the hound with audio description and bring you a damn bucket

Edited (idk what this service is called jaoduouaw) 2023-09-22 19:43 (UTC)

Ain't gonna rule out taking up mad science mpreg cuz, you know, you never know. But I also got this bottle of mead brewing in my kitchen that I think might've turned, and I'm afraid to check it myself. Being that those are basically the same sort of situation... I'll think about it.

Aw, you're so good to me.

I'm gonna take this monocle ridge riding I can't wait to die and not realize it for 30 seconds

You'd be doing me a real solid. I've been gunning for an honorary phd in parapsychology.

That doesn't include ghost therapy does it

Oh Hell no. I'd settle for proof of existence, maybe you could come back and do a lil jig in front of an infrared motion sensor for me.

Liking the monocle best so far, though?

I will obediently tap flashlights and knock on tables and refuse to show up for any other ghost hunters I'm just that loyal

Well the goggles are great but they're making me too charming and another one of them is definitely haunted but I don't want any of them taking my spot as your fave ghost